Category "Gender & Orientation"

“Biology loves variation. Biology loves differences. Society hates it.”
– Dr. Milton Diamond

Can I Be a Lesbian and Date a Transman?

I’m a sex therapist in private practice. I’m asked all sorts of interesting questions on a regular basis. The following touched on sensitive and important issues deserving of being shared with others. Here’s the question. Do you agree with my … Read More

May 20, 2015
Disappointing Sex. What happened?

  Dear Dr Ren and Bloom, As a woman of a certain age, I learned to follow the rules. That included marrying a man I liked immensely, and burying my sexual attraction to women. My husband died three years ago, … Read More

April 30, 2014
First Time Lesbian Sex

Dear Dr Ren and Bloom, I’ve always dated men, and happily so. I like sex with men. But recently I watched some lesbian porn that really turned me on. I would like to find out what sex with another woman … Read More

April 30, 2014
How to Find a Bi-Curious Lover

All your life you’ve dated men, and now you find yourself curious about what sex with another woman would be like. How do you begin? Where do you go? Focus on what appeals to you What is it about sex … Read More

September 30, 2013
Am I Gay?

Whether we call it orientation, sexual preference (which assumes we have choice), or perversion (which assumes we have judgments), the topic of whom we love can cause great emotional turmoil. The following is a distillation of a common question. Dear … Read More

May 25, 2012
Desire vs. Lifestyle

Coming out is a process as individual as fingerprints. Though there are surely commonalities in the experience, the process of coming to terms with one’s atypical orientation is dependent upon myriad determinants: Have you always known? Were you aware but … Read More

May 24, 2012
Same-Sex Marriage, Part I

“I Cannot Breed in Captivity” ~ Gloria Steinem At the beginning of May, the British Columbia Supreme Court overturned a previous ruling by an appeals court regarding same sex marriage restrictions. The unanimous decision echoes those of the Supreme Courts … Read More

May 23, 2012
Same-Sex Marriage, Part II

May’s newsletter column dealt with Canada’s Supreme Court ruling that prohibiting same-sex marriages contravened our Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Although I try to address different subjects each month, I believe this issue warrants further discussion. The new ruling has … Read More

May 22, 2012
Lesbian Fisting: Intensity and Intimacy

When a group of women friends get together over a meal, the conversation often turns to matters of sex. When those friends represent various numbers on the Kinsey scale (zero being entirely heterosexual and six referring to completely homosexual), those … Read More

November 24, 2011
The Cost of Knowledge… and Hubris

This article is dedicated to the memory of David Reimer, aka Bruce (and later Brenda), aka John/Joan/John, an unwitting and unwilling hero/victim in a grand experiment that showed great promise but went terribly, terribly wrong. It began in 1966 when … Read More

November 24, 2011
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