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Category "Getting It On"
Overcoming Resistance to Desire
Women commonly complain that they feel estranged not from their husbands but from their desire for them. Love is not at issue—they are still deeply in love with these men, but somewhere during the years of cooking meals and cleaning … Read More
December 2, 2011
Category Getting It On
A Kink Primer
I am frequently asked questions about kink, or BDSM. Folks wonder what makes it appealing–the extremes in sensation, the feeling of dominating or being submissive, the power and trust one gives to another? They are confused about whether BDSM and … Read More
December 2, 2011
Category Alternative Sexualities, Getting It On
Practical Aspects of Female Ejaculation
Female ejaculation or g-spot orgasms are delicious additions to our lovemaking, but they do pose some practical problems. Once you have learned how to release fluid from the g-spot, you will no doubt face the issue of housekeeping. What do … Read More
December 2, 2011
Category Getting It On, Sexual Education
Sex Addiction… Or Something Else
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Sex Addiction
Bright, reasonable people with successful careers and happy families can lose everything to the greedy mistress that is addiction. What begins as an occasion enhancer—a drink, a pill, a snort—soon becomes necessary to enjoy a social event at all. Eventually … Read More
December 2, 2011
Category Getting It On
Sensate Focus
Sensate focus, developed about fifty years ago by the grandparents of modern sex therapy, Masters and Johnson, is a frequently-used technique for people who feel disconnected from their sexuality. It can also enable change in the sexual interactions of couples. … Read More
December 2, 2011
Category Getting It On, Sexual Communication
Banish Bedroom Boredom
When we meet someone new and are all fired up with anticipation and trepidation, it is easy to make sex rapturous. In the early stages of courtship, we spend long, languorous hours in bed, fascinated with our new lover and … Read More
December 2, 2011
Category Getting It On
Take it Outside
Though many of my columns elicit feedback, the ones that generate the most discussion involve practical suggestions about how to improve sex in some way. With summer weather soon to depart, this column addresses an offer that Mother Nature makes … Read More
December 2, 2011
Category Getting It On
DINS (Double Income/No Sex): Myth or Menace
Currently, DINS is getting interest from the press and is surely the topic of many conversations between friends. When we have a sexual problem, we gratefully grab any explanation of what might be the cause of our distress, and discovering … Read More
December 2, 2011
Category Getting It On
Some Enchanted Evening: Planning a Night of Romance
If you are out of touch with your lover’s body, or with your own, this experience may well feel embarrassing and awkward. Just accept that this will be so for most of us, and push through it. The rewards are … Read More
December 2, 2011
Category Getting It On
Duty Sex
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Relationship
I recently attended a professional coaching seminar offered by Tracy Heyland. One of Tracy’s main points was that when our values are in conflict with our goals, we procrastinate. She illustrated how we can reframe our experiences to shape the … Read More
December 2, 2011
Category Getting It On
