Hot Topics Volume 1, Issue 5: September 2002

Welcome to the September issue of Hot Topics, the newsletter from www.smartsextalk.com.

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In This Issue:

Featured Topic: Arrogant, Unethical, and Stupid as Folk?
Humour
Quote of the Month

Featured Topic: Arrogant, Unethical, and Stupid as Folk?

Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?

~Ernest Gaines

As a sex therapist and educator, I belong to several professional organizations, some quite academic, others more supportive. A few months ago at a less formal meeting of sex educators, the topic of the British TV show Queer as Folk was being discussed. Having only basic cable, I miss many of the edgier channels and so had never seen the show. My colleagues, a more-liberal-than-mainstream bunch regarding sexuality, were concerned and appalled at the sexual images used in the stories. They were particularly upset that this show was aired during prime time, making it accessible to teens. They worried that adolescents might view these images without the tempering input of a parent. I thought the show must be very raunchy and marvelled that it had passed Canadian censorship boards not a very liberal bunch.

In my local video store the other day, I spotted a section of TV series tapes. There were two tapes (the first season, I believe) of Queer as Folk. Now I could see for myself what all the hoopla was about!

I viewed the tapes and was indeed appalled at the messages, but for entirely different reasons.

I thought the sex scenes were honest, informative, and not overly graphic. Never, for instance, did I see an erect penis, though the encounters themselves read as "true". I could imagine how useful these sexual depictions could be for curious teens (male and female, gay and straight), ignorant about just how sex is done, anyhow.

What alarmed me was the way in which the characters conducted themselves. Almost all of the cast members were either arrogant and unethical or stupid and unethical. Taking action that seriously hurt innocent bystanders (in one instance, a minor benign character gets deported due to the actions of several of the leads) was viewed as a social game. Families were presented as either destructive or misguided. I saw little of commitment or even fair play. I found it hard to like any of the cast members, though I pitied many of them and recoiled from others. These were not the kind of folk I would want in my life, queer or not.

And that got me to thinking about how sad it is that, after years and years of struggling for recognition and equality, the gay community finally lands a prime time television show about its own, and the characters are despicable. The irony is not lost on me. It reminds me of early film days when sexually-powerful heroines were routinely tamed, caged, or killed at the end of the movie.

Most people do the best they can to get along without hurting others, and they seek contact and intimacy over power and control. Trusting in the ultimate goodness of others propels us to risk making new friends. Queer as Folk, though supposedly a rather sensational but funny romp through London's Canal Street scene, tarnishes not only queer people (by association) but also further insulates us to the outrage of irresponsible, unkind behaviour. I think my colleagues missed the mark on their judgment of this one: I think the problem lies not with those who love, but with those who hate.

How do you feel about this issue? How many of you have seen Queer as Folk? What are your reactions to the characters, the plot lines, the sex scenes? As always, we welcome and encourage your responses.

- Pega Ren

Humour

Things one really needs to know:

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(Wow...!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life I want to be a pig)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy) (...I'm still not over the pig!)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home .. maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes...can you imagine??)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life.....)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm........)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animal that cannot jump.
(OK, so that would be a good thing....)

A cat's urine glows under a blacklight.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out.)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(Who knew...? Who cares!)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What the ... what about the PIG???)

Quote of the Month

"There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection is the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted."

~ Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behaviour

Copyright 2002. Dr. Pega Ren. All Rights Reserved.