Hot
Topics Volume 2, Issue 6: June 2003
Welcome to the latest issue
of Hot Topics, the newsletter from www.smartsextalk.com.
We invite you to send your
suggestions, your questions, and your comments to us
at editor@smartsextalk.com.
**Please note: Let us know whether or not you want
your mail to be published. We will NEVER publish your
mail or identity without your permission. You may send
mail anonymously, but if you do not wish it to be reprinted,
you must say so. We want you to feel safe to write -
please address any questions about our confidentiality
policies to editor@smartsextalk.com.
In This Issue:
Appearances: Out on TV
Featured Topic: How to "do" a Threesome
Humour
Quote of the Month
Appearances: Out on TV
Watch for Dr. Pega Ren's appearance as a studio interview
guest in an upcoming segment on BDSM for Out on TV.
Although airtimes are still pending, the segment is
expected to air some time in the next 3-4 weeks. Out
on TV airs every Saturday night at 10pm on Shaw Multicultural
Channel 20, and repeats the following Monday morning
at 1am. If you're a PrideVision TV subscriber, it airs
on Fridays and Saturdays at 5:30pm and 6:30pm respectively.
We will send out a bulletin with exact airing schedules
as soon as we receive them.
Thank you for your support!
~Editor
Featured Topic: How to "do" a Threesome
Sex research tells us that the most prevalent sexual
fantasy among heterosexual males is a threesome with
two women. Fortunately, many women share this flight
of the imagination. If you are lucky enough to find
yourself in a position where this dream might be actualized,
you are probably wondering how to make it a positive
experience. It is certainly a question I am frequently
asked as a sex therapist.
There are a few basic guidelines for establishing a
successful encounter. The first, of course, revolves
around clear and honest sexual communication. Each couple
must review and renegotiate their sexual exclusivity
(or inclusivity) contract.
Have you always had an open relationship? Has that
been successful and gratifying - or not? If you've heretofore
been monogamous, why do you now want to alter the arrangement?
Are you both desirous of including others in your lives
sexually? Is one of you doing this only to please the
other? How do you make other important decisions in
your relationship? Is your bond strong enough to risk
the emotional backlash that may occur? You must take
the time to explore these questions and agree upon the
answers before bringing another person into your bed.
Once this renegotiation process is complete, and you
have agreed that you are both desiring a sexual encounter
with another person, you need to decide how you choose
that lucky someone. Then you must renegotiate all over
again with him or her. It is important to determine
what each party expects and wants from the encounter.
You must all be on the same page, or you are inviting
disaster.
Let us suppose that these steps are accomplished and
you've made a date to meet to have sex together. How
do you go about ensuring that all three people have
a good time? This brings us to the etiquette of threesomes.
The basic rules are as follows:
- Person A and Person B discuss how they can best pleasure
Person C. They set about to be a team of two dedicated
to making sure that Person C's needs are met and that
her emotions are safeguarded.
- Simultaneously, Person B and Person C get together
to form their own team, planning how to give Person
A the best possible time.
- And Person A and Person C also collaborate to guarantee
Person B's enjoyment of the activities.
What this system strives toward is everyone's feeling
connected, integral, and pleasured. It virtually eliminates
jealousy because all parties concerned are meeting another's
needs in conjunction with someone else, while having
both other people concentrating on them. With two folks
responsible for, and responsive to, one other, everyone
wins.
This is of course a distillation of the process. We
do not move from zero to 60 quickly, at least not the
first few times. Sex, intimacy, and trust get all mixed
up together, and we've not even mentioned interpersonal
tensions and personal
apprehensions. Then, too, there are issues of body image,
performance anxiety, and feelings of potential inadequacy.
So if you're hoping to turn this common fantasy into
a reality, plan well and plan well in advance. Be specific
about how you hope your evening will progress and set
up for success.
Threesomes are memorable occurrences, and those privileged
to share such encounters successfully recognize a bond
that leaves a glow long after the actual sex has faded.
Be careful, be fearless, be open hearted, and be brave.
The rewards can be enormous!
~ Pega
Humour 30 Totally Useless but Interesting
Facts
1. Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a
"Friday the 13th."
2. 35% of the people who use personal ads for dating
are already married.
3. The 3 most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro,
Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
4. It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
5. Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment
in the palms of their hands.
6. The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American
Pie." (Thus the name of the Don McLean song.)
7. The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over
the lazy dog," which uses every letter in the alphabet
was developed by Western Union to test Telex communications.
8. Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
9. Debra Winger was the voice of E.T.
10. Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their
unwanted people without killing them used to burn their
houses down, hence the expression "to get fired."
11. 10% of the Russian government's income comes from
the sale of vodka.
12. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents
a great king from history. Spades = King David; Clubs
= Alexander the Great; Hearts = Charlemagne; and Diamonds
= Julius Caesar.
13. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
14. The reason firehouses have circular stairways is
from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by
horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor
and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.
15. Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine
that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor
belt.
16. The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in
the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle,
G.P.
17. The only 2 days of the year in which there are no
professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are
the day before and the day after the Major League All
Star Game.
1 8. Only 1 person in 2 billion will live to be 116
or older.
19. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween"
was actually a Captain Kirk mask painted white.
20. If you put a raisin in a glass of champagne, it
will keep floating to the top and sinking to the bottom.
21. Snails can sleep for 3 years without eating.
22. Actor Tommy Lee Jones and vice-president Al Gore
were freshman roommates at Harvard.
23. The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable
from those of humans, so much so that they could be
confused at a crime scene.
24. It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough
leather for a year's supply of footballs.
25. The man who plays Lt. Commander Montgomery Scott
(James Doohan) on Star Trek, is missing the entire middle
finger of his right hand.
26. The Eisenhower interstate system requires that 1
mile in every 5 must be straight. These straight sections
are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.
27. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
28. All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction"
are stuck on 4:20 (It's the police code for "getting
high")
29. A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
30. Pearls melt in vinegar.
Quote of the Month
"If you don't make the dust, you eat the dust"
~ Anonymous
Copyright 2003. Dr. Pega Ren. All Rights Reserved.
|
