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Dr. Pega Ren

Hot Topics Volume 2, Issue 7: July 2003

Welcome to the latest issue of Hot Topics, the newsletter from www.smartsextalk.com.

We invite you to send your suggestions, your questions, and your comments to us at editor@smartsextalk.com.

**Please note: Let us know whether or not you want your mail to be published. We will NEVER publish your mail or identity without your permission. You may send mail anonymously, but if you do not wish it to be reprinted, you must say so. We want you to feel safe to write - please address any questions about our confidentiality policies to editor@smartsextalk.com.


In This Issue:

Letter From the Editor
Featured Topic: Same-Sex Marriages
In the News: New Study on Hormones, Miscarriages and Gender
Quote of the Month


Letter From the Editor

Happy Canada Day! We hope you enjoy this month's discussion of the undeniably "hot topic" of same-sex marriage.

I want to personally thank everyone for their input over the past months, and to reassure you all that your requests for an HTML newsletter have been heard. As we speak, I am working behind the scenes to put together a bigger and better web site, which will include Hot Topics in HTML format. That means live links and pictures delivered right to your inbox...

Each of you will receive an announcement prior to launch, so keep an eye out.

Thank you all for your patience and enduring support. You make www.smartsextalk.com a success!

~Editor


Featured Topic: Same-Sex Marriages

May's Hot Topics column dealt with Canada's Supreme Court ruling that prohibiting same-sex marriages contravened our Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Although I try to address different subjects each month, I believe this issue warrants further discussion. The new ruling has been effected in practical terms, and lesbians and gays are marrying legally. Let's contemplate some of the possible spin-off effects of these changes.

For instance, when a heterosexual couple argues and the woman turns to her friends and family for solace and support, she is typically advised to cool off, pick her battles, and figure out how best to resolve the problem. Her community's expectation is that the marriage will survive and endure, and this in turn supports the couple in resolving their conflict. Men, likewise, are often reminded of their commitment and responsibility and after a conversation with their buddies, they return home to smooth out the wrinkle. The expectation of continuity is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

On the other hand, when gay and lesbian couples experience discord, they hear quite different messages. Gay couples are 'expected' to dissolve, often attributed to their 'promiscuous' lifestyles (another false stereotype, but nonetheless a powerful influence). Lesbian jokes abound about the 'standard' two and
a half year relationship (one year of honeymoon, another of domestic stability followed by six months of unravelling prior to separation). These messages are subtle yet influential, and undermine the longevity of same-sex unions.

How might Canada's inclusive marriage laws affect the community? I suspect that those who decried same-sex relationships as a threat to the family may now view those couples who opt to legalize their unions as supporting the same values. I'm hopeful that this may narrow the gap between homophobes and homosexuals. Socially, we view a spouse as more 'valid' than a boy- or girl-friend. As the definition of marriage expands, so too will that of 'family.' All married couples will have the same legal rights and responsibilities. Corollary laws (legal, medical, and educational concerns) will necessarily change to adapt to the laws governing marriage. The prophecy of serious, long-term commitment for same-sex couples may become, as for heterosexuals, self-fulfilling.

Perhaps I am being overly optimistic about the repercussions of our changing laws, and the social impact they may have. However, Canada is proving itself a leader in promoting such values as peace, inclusivity, and rationality. When I asked Silva Tenenbein, a seasoned activist, how she felt about Canada's progressive politics and our new marriage laws, she replied, "I'm proud of being Canadian the same way I'm proud of being queer." We've come a long way.

Happy Canada Day!

~ Pega


In the News: New Study on Hormones, Miscarriages and Gender

As a sexologist, I get a lot of interesting articles delivered to my inbox. Typically, I read these, share them with colleagues, and then they are discarded in the recycling bin. When this study crossed my desk, I was
impressed with the methodology - and the results. And then it occurred to me that some of you might be interested too.

This is a research study about miscarriage, hormones, and gender. Check it out at
http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2003-07/esfh-wam062503.php

And if you like having an "In the News" section, let my editor know at editor@smartsextalk.com. We'll make sure you get more of it.


Quote of the Month

"When we fail to give [homosexual men and women] the equal protection of the law, then it is the law that is 'queer.'"

~ William Safire, 1974

Copyright 2003. Dr. Pega Ren. All Rights Reserved.

 
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