Do you suspect that if only you had more self-confidence, you’d be able to make your life work better? Chances are you’re right! The primary tools for effecting change are believing in 1) our ability to make it happen and 2) our right to happiness. Power and entitlement. Those are the ingredients of self-confidence. Self-confidence fluctuates with our circumstances. When we’re happy, we feel strong and effective. Blue? Not so much. Do not, however, think that it just happens tous. We have control over how we respond to the world, and the stronger our self-confidence, the better we fare, regardless the situation. How do we build self-confidence? There are five components of self-confidence, all of which interlace and build upon one another. They form a sort of circle, or perhaps an ever-ascending spiral. If we were to draw it, it might look like this: The great thing about this tool is that you can get on anywhere. You only need to start somewhere and the process of improving your self-confidence has begun. Let’s say you begin with Acceptance of Personal Rights. Think about what that means, do an internet search, seek out books relating to that topic (librarians are great help here). Whatever you do, you’ll find that as you accept and internalize your own personal rights, you’ll find yourself… Behaving more assertively. And now you’ve quite smoothly moved on to the next phase of becoming self-confident. As you act assertively out there in your world, you ‘naturally’ begin to take better care of yourself, and so on, and so on… Remember, though, that you must commit to the momentum of the process to keep it going. As with any other change, our old behaviours resist and our new ways of being need reinforcement to feel natural. Also, this simple graphic lacks the robust explanations it deserves. Each step benefits from suggestions, recommendations, exercises and discussion. All that is available through brief therapy, which can focus on building self-confidence, tailored to your specific situation. Whatever methods you choose, do work on building your self-confidence. It’s that unmistakeable inner glow that looks so darned good on all of us!