NATIONAL MASTURBATION DAY
By Dr. Pega Ren

- Originally published on DrKoop.com

May 7th is National Masturbation Day. Though it’s true that we aren’t granted the Monday off work to observe this holiday, it behooves us to consider the topic and how we relate to it.

What part does masturbation play in our lives? We know that almost all men masturbate, and do so from adolescence onward. Dr. Alfred Kinsey, in his groundbreaking research of the fifties, found that sixty-two percent of females masturbated as well, although not as frequently as their male peers. When Shere Hite polled over eighteen hundred women in 1976 for The Hite Report, she found that 82% reported masturbating. As Victorian prohibitions fade into history, we may well find that women’s rates of self-pleasuring reach those of males’.

How do we feel about masturbation? We vary as much in our reactions to the topic of masturbation as we do about anything else sexual, complicated by the added layer of learned shame and secrecy. Unless prohibited, we masturbate throughout our life span. For some, masturbation is a natural part of living, not considered more than any other aspect of body care. For others, it is surrounded with great concern and guilt. For still others, it is celebrated joyously.

Are we comfortable discussing it? And with whom? Few of us would initiate a discussion about masturbation. Even if we do not associate self-pleasuring with guilt or shame, most of us consider it private. Perhaps we speak about it with our lovers, but we rarely address the subject otherwise, except perhaps in jest.

Why would we set aside a day to contemplate and celebrate masturbation anyway? The past few decades have seen a progressive acceptance of sexuality. Though not without controversy, sexual information is now more available than ever. When we break the code of silence around masturbation, we learn that it has no detrimental physical effects, helps to keep our genito-urinary tracts healthy into old age, and teaches us to become and remain responsive sexual partners. Indeed, a number of sexual problems affecting interpersonal relations are resolved with the aid of masturbatory exercises.

The comfort, exhilaration, and release experienced during masturbation affords us a way to feel good about ourselves without relying on another person. It provides us a sense of independence and choice. Also, as we learn our body’s unique response pattern, we can better transmit that information to intimate partners. Surely these are reasons to celebrate!

How best can we celebrate this holiday? National Masturbation Day offers us an opportunity to speak with others about the subject, especially with our children. We can give them accurate information about this secret and taboo topic, letting them know that most (but not all) people touch themselves for pleasure, relieving them of confusion, shame, and embarrassment. We can share with them our personal, family, and cultural beliefs about the activity, and encourage dialogue about this, or any other, sexual issue. We thus make ourselves allies, and if we want our children to make good decisions and enjoy happy lives, this alliance will protect and enhance us all.

This day devoted to pleasure can also encourage us to examine our own personal sexual responses and patterns. Perhaps this is an opportunity to make a date with ourselves, to explore how our bodies and preferences have changed, to indulge in new or favorite fantasies, to pamper ourselves, to luxuriate in delight.

After all, pleasure seems a lovely reason to celebrate.

© 2001. Pega Ren, Ed.D. All Rights Reserved.