SAME-SEX MARRIAGE PART I
by Dr. Pega Ren
“I Cannot Breed in
Captivity” ~ Gloria Steinem
At the beginning of May, the British Columbia Supreme
Court overturned a previous ruling by an appeals court
regarding same sex marriage restrictions. The unanimous
decision echoes those of the Supreme Courts of both
Ontario and Quebec. Effectively, this means that all
of us can choose to marry if we wish, regardless of
gender or orientation. This victory for civil rights
is not a fait a compli. The Supreme Court of Canada
has a year to consider this decision and uphold or
overturn it. Still, this third ‘yes’ vote
signifies a powerful advance toward inclusion.
There are many who endorse Ms. Steinem’s sentiments
regarding the institution of marriage and scratch
their heads at why this is an issue at all. After
all, marriage is a relatively new concept, only a
few hundred years old, and designed to protect the
inheritance trail of wealthy landowners; romance and
love had little to do with it. The original reasons
for marriage have long since deteriorated and been
transformed into a social statement of love and commitment.
Our government offers tax incentives to those who
choose to sign on, and community property legislations
offer some protection for wives and children. Even
so, marriage is now a business (a multi-million dollar
business!) and a social tradition that endures despite
the objections raised by feminists during the sexual
revolution of the sixties and an ever-growing acceptance
of living together without benefit of legal approval.
For those who long to make public their mutual dreams
of life together, this legislation validates their
wishes. No longer denied the rights of others, gays
and lesbians can soon choose whether to marry. This
marks another important step away from the shame and
fear associated with being inside the closet and outside
the realm of acceptability. Surely, this is reason
to celebrate!
Love is difficult to find and even more so to sustain
and nurture. Lesbians and gays know full well the
lack of social supports others enjoy in enduring the
inevitable strains of living together. This legislation
will provide an important link to community backing.
It will, as well, protect children and guarantee the
rights and responsibilities heretofore taken for granted
by heterosexuals. No longer must couples fear losing
property to obscure blood relatives, or worry about
how medical staff will respond to a mate’s directives
about life-threatening crises. In other words, lesbians
and gays will be treated pretty much like everyone
else.
Religious adherents and other conservative thinkers
will object to this legislation. We must weigh their
arguments about the perceived threat to the family,
and eventually we will need to redefine the term.
‘Family’ will come to mean those who love
and protect one another, who support and nourish their
bond, and who identify as a small group within a larger
community. Come to think of it, isn’t that already
a working definition? Let’s embrace all those
who come together in love and kindness, companionship
and care, and welcome everyone who chooses to celebrate
publicly such society-sustaining values.
Kudos to our courts! The law often lags much farther
behind in reflecting society’s values. Truly,
this decision signals a reason for all of us to be
proud, regardless of the gender of the people we love.
© 2003. Pega Ren, Ed.D. All
Rights Reserved.
|