Services

Sex therapy begins with you telling me about how you came to be where you are now in your life. I will ask you questions; you can ask questions of me. Together we will determine your options for changing what does not work for you and for enhancing what does.

I offer you an environment in which sexuality is freely and openly discussed and in which you are guaranteed not only complete confidentiality but nonjudgmental, sex positive responses.

You may make an appointment to see me in person, or, if you are out-of-area, click here to learn more about my teletherapy services.

You will decide what your goals are, and together we will work toward finding ways to help you feel good about yourself and your relationships. You must be willing to risk change, and you'll usually see results quickly. You may work with me individually, together with your partner(s), or in any combination that works for you. For an idea of what early session are like, click here.

Sex therapy addresses issues including but not limited to:

- Sexual communication and negotiation
- Body image and sex-negative conditioning
- Sexual desire
- Obstacles to intimacy
- Sexual development, maturation, and aging
- Medical considerations affecting sexuality
- Atypical sexual behaviours/fetishes
- Sexual trauma including assault and childhood exploitation
- Gender identity
- Sexual orientation
- Sexual education for parents
- Women's sexual issues including orgasm, masturbation, partnered sex, painful intercourse, and lubrication
- Men's concerns including erectile difficulty and timing of ejaculation

In other words, if you are concerned or confused about some aspect of your sexuality or intimate relationships, sex therapy can answer your questions and explore options to bring you resolution. After all, since we are sexual from birth to death, we may as well have the best sex possible!

Click here to read my essay on the topic.

Finding An Appropriate Therapist:

If you’ve read this far, chances are you are considering getting some professional help with a sexual or relationship issue. This may well be the first time you’ve approached a sex therapist or perhaps any therapist at all. Since few of us are comfortable speaking about sex (and particularly about our own problematic sex!), making that first call can be daunting indeed. How do you find someone who can help with such personal issues? What qualifications should you look for? How can you judge a good ‘fit’?

You’ve probably already tried to fix the problem on your own. You may even have chosen a special friend or two with whom you can talk freely, but their advice, though well meaning, did not alleviate the situation. You may have tried to change your behaviour, or that of your mate, but unsuccessfully. You realize that you’re stuck. You can’t solve this problem by yourself.

Often, people at this point turn to their family doctors for advice o r referral. Unfortunately, most of our doctors get little training in sexuality and are themselves squeamish about discussing the subject. Their erotophobia (discomfort or fear about anything sexual) sometimes breeds a reticence to address your problem. Many are unaware of available resources. Sometimes, they simply lack the time or knowledge to help you.

If you are lucky, someone you know may mention their own experience with a therapist and offer a recommendation. Barring that, you may research your options through the Internet. This can be effective in that you can view individual counsellor’s websites and inform yourself about their perspectives and qualifications. You can also filter your choices by turning to a qualifying body, such as the American Board of Sexology, your province’s registration board (in BC it’s the BC Association of Clinical Counsellors or the College of Psychologists), or by searching specific lists such as Kink Aware Professionals or other organizations serving your particular ‘flavour’ of issue. Look for training specific to sexuality. Not every therapist is a sex therapist.

After you’ve narrowed your choices, you need to make contact directly. Speak with the professionals whose credentials have impressed you. Remember, not everyone who offers therapy will be comfortable with sexual issues. You will want to determine this before committing to an appointment. It’s perfectly fair to ask questions. What types of therapy do they offer? Are they informed and non-judgmental when speaking about your issue? Do you feel a rapport? Trust yourself in your responses. Therapy is intense, revealing work, and you will want to feel safe and respected with your practitioner.

When you find your therapist, you must be willing to risk change, which can be difficult. We cling to our patterns, and anger and hurt can promote unhelpful behaviour and attitudes. Protective defences can cloud our reason. Our perspective can be poor. Your therapist will help you assess not only your problems but your options. Much of sex therapy involves permission and accurate information, preparing you to make better decisions and to interact more appropriately with your loved ones. You can count on lessening your confusion and doubt. Therapy is truly an effective tool in unravelling some of our personal quandaries and moving us along the path to deeper personal satisfaction.