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Volume 4, Issue 5, May 2005
Letter from the Editor
Happy Mother's Day - don't
forget her!
The themes in this month's
issue presented themselves before we could decide what
to do on our own. First, many news stories appeared
about the possibility of a cervical cancer vaccine.
We chose two articles on the topic (in our research
sidebar). One highlights the science behind the possible
discovery, and the other is about one writer's concerns
about how the vaccine may be distributed. There are
many more stories in journals and papers, and on the
Internet. We invite you all to continue reading up on
this important development.
When we learned that radical
feminist and pornography opponent Andrea Dworkin had
passed away at the (relatively) young age of 58, we
knew that we needed to dedicate a column to her. Ms.
Dworkin was a complicated person, and a complicated
figure in feminist history. The news of her death spawned
countless online blog entries and debates - proving
that despite her retreat from the spotlight in recent
years, the effect of her political activism still resonates
for many people today.
Popular opinion seems
to occupy two positions: she was an evil man-hater (this
from writers who often continued on to describe in loathing
detail how her physical appearance clearly excluded
her from a man "having" her); or, she was
a political figure who despite her fervour and her folly,
forced an issue that had been entirely closeted, and
the world moved forward because of it. This second position
is often grudgingly stated, although Gloria Steinmen
herself put it forward without hesitation. “In
every century, there are a handful of writers who help
the human race to evolve,” Steinem said. “Andrea
is one of them.” This seems to me to be such a
loving way of putting to rest one of feminisms most
complicated and controversial figures.
Below, Dr. Ren has penned
a column about the legacy of Andrea Dworkin's position
on the politics of sexuality. We hope to have honoured
her memory in a balanced way.
~ Editor
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Hot Topic:
The Dworkin Legacy |
Andrea Dworkin’s
recent death surprised me. Reading the notification,
I recalled her strident writings, her angry
lectures and her brash personal presentation.
She was a frightening and influential icon
in the early days of feminism. Anti-porn
to the core, and by extension anti-sex,
she presented women as forever defending
themselves from men’s lustful urges.
Though she arrived amid the sexual revolution
of the sixties, she was decidedly Victorian
in her views about sex.
And women
(and many men) listened! Who would vote
for something that caused harm to women
and children? Dworkin’s anti-pornography
platform appealed to women who were on the
brink of accepting or rejecting their sexual
power. Even as we chose to say “Yes”
to sex, we could not ignore warnings from
anti-sex feminists that men’s sexuality
was dangerous. Many of us folded. We agreed
that viewing sexually explicit material
(though few of us ever dared to see any
of it) was degrading to women and a threat
to the security of the couple bond. We thanked
our mates for not being ‘that kind
of man’ and forgot about porn altogether,
except perhaps to worry privately with other
women about the wolf in the woods.
Now, in the
new millennium, watching porn is like masturbating.
We all do it, but we don’t talk about
it. We do not want to get caught doing either,
and when we ARE caught there’s often
hell to pay, just as we feared. Couples
veer off course over this issue. Assumptions
play heavily in the drama. For instance,
while she assumes that he is not watching
porn (for political reasons, or because
-- she believes -- it is tantamount to cheating),
he assumes that she knows he both views
porn and masturbates (often simultaneously).
When Dworkin-influenced
women discover their partner’s erotic
pastime, they feel betrayed and abandoned.
Body image issues further obscure the situation
when she compares her body to those on the
Internet…some hard acts to follow.
She wonders why she alone is not enough
and questions her desirability. She wonders
why her beloved mate would not confide this
private sex to her, and she questions the
solidity of their bond.
Often, I enter
the scene here. Either gender may call me,
desperate for help in de-escalating what
is quickly challenging their whole relationship.
Following therapy, many couples remark that,
oddly, confronting and exploring the many
meaningful layers of pornography moved them
to a deeper, more authentic, and sexier
place.
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Articles
of the Month
CNN
News reports
on the trend away from immediate surgery
in cases where gender is unclear.
An
article
published in the Journal of the American
Medical Association uses monkeys to
make a statement about pornography.
Feminist
author and activist Andrea Dworkin
dies at the age of 58. Read about
her here.
A
program in Senegal, which has led
1,527 villages to stop circumcising
girls, is becoming a regional model.
Read the article
published in The Christian Science
Monitor.
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Research
of the Month
The
BBC News Online reports
on the possibility of a vaccine for
cervical cancer.
Debora
MacKenzie's article
for the New Scientist and raises questions
about the politics of a cervical canbcer
vaccine.
With
May being our month to celebrate mothers,
it is fitting to cheer this
bit of research from the BBC News
Online!
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Sites
of the Month
Thanks to the Smart Sex Talk subscriber
who alerted me to this
site. As the world watches Canada
stand up for equality under the law,
it is heartening to know that legal
advice is available for all as well.
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But in the beginning,
it just feels rotten for everybody. Therapy begins
by acknowledging the enormity of the emotional
turmoil the discovery has caused, and reaffirming
the couple’s stable relationship. Once everyone
understands gender differences in regards to visual
stimulation (guys like the stuff a lot and we
tend not to understand the fascination) and once
we learn to speak openly about sex, the problem
becomes more manageable. Women’s ‘porn’,
from high budget Hollywood sizzlers like Unfaithful
to sappy romantic bodice rippers, is absolved
of sin because of the safe plot lines. Women are
soothed by relationships, and if we can say we
are watching character development while our men
can claim to be only watching smut, then our titillation
is noble and theirs is base. We are so easily
judgmental about lust. It is important that we
alter our perspective on this issue for the sake
of our relationships. Think about it: if we women
are successful in eliminating all of our men’s
erotic turn-ons, we ‘win’ sexless
mates. Talk about shooting ourselves in the foot!
What we women must
do, instead, is open ourselves to exploring erotic
stimulation, whether with fantasy, erotica (the
sanitized term for porn) or actual sex, partnered
or solo. Women are often less visually cued than
men are, but we are no less excitable or interested.
We need to foster our own and our mate’s
interest in sex and get out of our own way regarding
political correctness. We need to seek out images
in film and literature that arouse us, too. We
need to demand and support pornography that we
like. Perhaps most importantly, we need to accept
differences in how we experience desire and fulfillment.
It is not in anyone’s best interest to make
sex or desire our enemy.
Finally, as we learn to accept sex
in its diverse and glorious forms, we can risk
speaking sexual words, thoughts, and feelings.
This is what heals a rift caused by confronting
our societal over-reactions to pornography. If
we can talk about the hard stuff, surely we can
talk about the hot stuff, too. And that’s
the carrot. We face our fears and risk vulnerability
in our search to understand another human being.
In response, intimacy builds and love and sex
can flow freely again.
Andrea Dworkin connected patriarchy
and porn, and she opened a discussion that had
not previously been dared. Unfortunately, she
got confused between sex-ist and sex-ual. Pornography
got a bad rap. Research repeatedly proves that
pornography does not cause violence to women.
Sex is not our enemy, nor are men. It is our fear
of sexual power that trips us up. Desire can no
more be controlled or owned than can love. Better
to let it flourish and thus stay so acutely tuned
in to its rhythms that it defines our lives as
couples bound by our mutual appreciation for the
sex we share.
Farewell, Ms. Dworkin. You
made us look critically at how we experience desire
and arousal, and we owe you a debt of gratitude
for that. You represented the extreme of radical
feminism, showing us where the edges were. You
symbolized an era in which we came to terms with
our views (and viewings) on sex. Fortunately,
you were mistaken that we needed to live in fear
and distrust. We know now that we live together
better when we share and encourage desire, rather
than retreating to separate camps where we measure
and analyze our sexual responses for their sinister
intentions. Perhaps your passing will mark the
end of an era where women feel righteous about
controlling sexual desire and instead embrace
it as a human privilege. Perhaps a new message
will emerge to replace the fear and loathing you
engendered – a message that celebrates desire.
~
Sex pioneer Susie Bright
comments on Andrea Dworkin: "Along with Kate
Millet in Sexual Politics, Andrea Dworkin
used her considerable intellectual powers to analyze
pornography, which was something that no one had
done before. No one."
Susie’s blog entry on Andrea
Dwokin can be found here.
© Pega Ren. 2005.
All Rights Reserved.
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Upcoming Appearances:
Dr. Ren will be presenting
"Pillow Talk: Communication and Non-Monogamy"
at this year's popular BIO-sponsored conference.
Learn the details of this fun event and register
to attend by visiting:
http://www.thesexconference.com/saturday.htm
See you there!
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Call to Action: Dr.
Henry Morgentaler
Please read and respond, if you are so moved
- and pass on to friends.
~
The University of Western Ontario has decided to give Dr. Henry
Morgentaler an honorary Doctor of Laws degree
on June 16. Unfortunately, the university has
been getting a large amount of anti-choice mail
protesting this decision and slandering Dr. Morgentaler.
In contrast, there has been next to no pro-choice
mail in support so far. Dr. Morgentaler is a hero
to Canadian women for securing the right to choose
abortion in 1988, in the Supreme Court Morgentaler
decision that threw out Canada's abortion law.
Could you possibly help with
a short, affirming e-mail to the administrators
at the university? Below are the names and e-mail
addresses of the President of the University and
the Chair of the Board of Govenors. It is really
important that as many people as possible write
to these administrators praising the decision
to confer the law degree on Dr. Morgentaler as
soon as possible. The anti's have already staged
a vigil. And could you pass this message on to
other Canadians who would be willing to take a
few moments to send a note of praise? Thank you
so much for your support!
Dr. Paul Davenport, President,
UWO
pdavenpo@uwo.ca
Don McDougall, Chair of Board of Governors
c/o Jan Van Fleet, University Secretary
vanfleet@uwo.ca
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Book of the Month: Becoming a Visible Man by Jamieson
Green
A review, by David Steinberg
(eronat@aol.com)
of Becoming a Visible Man, by Jamison Green, Vanderbilt
University Press, 2004, 222 pages, ISBN 0-8265-1456-1,
$24.95.
I first met Jamison Green at
a party in San Francisco. I was introduced to
him by my good friend, journalist Marcy Sheiner.
Marcy had interviewed Jamison a year or so earlier
for a feature story she was writing. The two of
them were so taken with each other that they had
quickly moved into a powerful primary relationship
that would last for seven years.
I could see immediately why Marcy
was so taken with Jamison. He was attractive,
soulful, and perceptive, with quiet, watchful
eyes, a playful smile, and a relaxed social manner
that projected an appealing mix of confidence
and vulnerability. He and I both had roots in
the then-thriving California pro-feminist men's
movement, and we made a strong and immediate connection
with each other, comparing notes on the ins and
outs of moving beyond mainstream perceptions of
male roles and masculinity. Within an hour we
managed to tell each other how we felt about everything
from being devoted fathers to the dilemmas of
being distinctly shorter than the average guy,
from relationship quandries to feminist politics,
from the importance of building community with
like-minded men to what mattered most to each
of us about sex.
Because Marcy had told me the
story of how she and Jamison met before I met
him in person, I never had the experience of knowing
Jamison without also knowing that he was transgendered.
I certainly never would have guessed any such
thing had I not been told. Even with the cognitive
information that Jamison had spent the first forty
years of his life in a female body, and even though
we were quickly talking about personal issues
that related directly to his being transgendered,
talking with Jamison felt very much like talking
to many of my other male friends. Indeed, what
struck me most about Jamison was not how different
he was from me, but how much the two of us were
alike: Two men sorting out what it means to be
male in this particular society at this particular
point in history. Two men trying to understand
who we most genuinely are, and who we most deeply
want to be, as men. Two men trying to resolve
the conflicts from having notions of masculinity
that clashed with so much of what we had ingested
from the world around us about men, masculinity,
and male gender roles.
Most significantly, I think,
I felt comradeship with Jamison because we shared
a firm belief that it was profoundly important
for people to remain true to their innermost sense
of self and personhood, even when such fierce
insistence on personal integrity threatens being
misunderstood, condemned, marginalized, isolated,
and even punished -- by loved ones, family, friends,
and more distant acquaintances, not to mention
society at large.
It was only gradually that I
came to understand how important a person Jamison
was in the then-emerging movement for female-to-male
(FTM) transgender visibility, public understanding,
and political equality. For years, Jamison was
president of the largest and most influential
FTM organization, FTM International, broadening
that organization's outreach and ability to provide
a broad range of resources to transgendered people
throughout the U.S. and the world. As long as
I've known him, Jamison has traveled the world
(continuously, it seems to me, though I know he
has also managed to fulfill the duties of a full-time
day job and maintained important relationships
with his partner -- now wife -- and daughter),
speaking about transgender issues and being a
political advocate for transgender rights. At
his 50th birthday celebration several years ago,
I came to understand how influential a person
could be in other people's lives and was moved
as one person after another spoke of how Jamison
had impacted their lives. Several people said
quietly that, were it not for Jamison, they doubted
whether they would still be alive.
Now Jamison has published his
first book, Becoming a Visible Man --
a thoughtful, powerful, moving work that addresses
the issues of gender, personal choice, self-validation,
and political action on a broad range of different
levels.
Most fundamentally, perhaps,
Becoming a Visible Man is an immediate
and personal account of Jamison's personal odyssey
through the tangles of gender roles and gender
identity, the story of how he came to understand
that he was not a tomboy, not a lesbian, but actually
a man who happened to be living in a woman's body.
But Becoming a Visible Man is much more than just
an account of one person's gender identity journey.
It is also a perceptive, complex analysis of how
gender identity and gender expectations function
in society, and an opportunity for Jamison to
discuss his philosophy and political perspective
about what it means to be a man, about sexuality,
about dealing with family conflicts, about how
best to work for political and social change,
about the dance of staying true to oneself while
being buffeted by the expectations and emotions
of the people most near and dear to us. Jamison
takes his readers through this wide spectrum of
issues with a combination of insight, emotional
vulnerability, and remarkable compassion for the
difficulties that non-transgendered people face
when trying to understand such a basic challenge
to what most of us grew up believing was a simple,
bipolar, either-or, male or female universe.
It's appropriate that Becoming
a Visible Man is all at once a transgender
history, political manual, biomedical textbook,
interpersonal relationships guide, and philosophy
treatise. Stepping outside of societal gender
norms is a fundamental act of civil disobedience,
such a challenge to conventional notions of how
people and society are (and should be) constructed.
Coming to the realization that your body and your
inner sense of gender do not coincide, and deciding
to act to bring those two parts of yourself into
congruence, requires a person to question him/herself,
life, relationships, and society at the deepest
levels. Stepping outside assumed notions of how
things are supposed to be also gives a person
the opportunity to see both themselves and the
world around them with unique clarity and perspective.
Happily, Jamison Green has been
able to use his personal history to arrive at
complex, thoughtful perspectives on the variety
of issues raised by sexual mutability, and he
is able to write about those issues in ways that
can be enlightening to people both within and
outside the transgender community.
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Toy of the Month:
 Lush
Bunny vibrator for couples:
Only fifty per cent
of women experience orgasm with missionary position
intercourse alone. Add this little gem and enjoy
the change in the sensations for both of you.
Tickled
Pink Toys: New sex toy store in Vancouver!
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Humour
Signs:
At a gynecologist's office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
At a proctologist's office: "To expedite your visit
please back in."
On a Maternity Room door: "Push.
Push. Push."
In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be
back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
~
John and Marsha decided that the only
way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their
8 year old son in the apartment was to send him out
on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report
on all the neighbourhood activities. He began his commentary:
"There's a car being towed from the
parking lot," he shouted. A few moments passed.
"An ambulance just drove by."
A few moments later, "Looks like
the Andersons have company" he called out.
"Matt's riding a new bike....."
"The Coopers are having sex!!"
Startled, John and Marsha shot up in bed.
John cautiously asked, "How do you know they are
having sex?"
"Jimmy Cooper is standing out on
his balcony with a Popsicle, too."
~
They were together in the house, just
the two of them. It was a cold, dark, stormy night.
The storm had come quickly and each time the thunder
boomed he watched her jump.
She looked across the room and admired
his strong appearance...and wished that he would take
her in his arms, comfort her, and protect her from the
storm.
Suddenly the power went out.
She screamed.
He raced to the sofa where she was cowering.
He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms. He knew
this was a forbidden union and expected her to pull
back. He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead
clung to him.
The storm raged on - as did their growing
passion. And there came a moment when each knew that
they had to be together. Their families would never
understand.
So consumed were they that they heard
no opening of doors...just the faint click of a camera.
Quotes
of the Month
"There are two kinds of people who never
amount to much: those who cannot do what they are told,
and those who can do nothing else. "
~ Cyrus Curtis
"Ask a question and you're a fool
for three minutes; do not ask a question and you're
a fool for the rest of your life. "
~ Chinese proverb
"There is only on thing more painful
than learning from experience and that is not learning
from experience. "
~ Archibald McLeish
"Female sexuality is enjoyed by everybody
but women."
~ Judy Chicago
"If you can't be kind, at least have
the decency to be vague."
~ Anonymous
"People don't ask for facts in making
up their minds. They would rather have one good, soul-satisfying
emotion than a dozen facts. "
~ Robert Keith Leavitt
"The human need for distinct yes/no
categories is the source of much mischief."
~ Roger Webb
"The optimist proclaims that we
live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist
fears this is true "
~ James Branch Cabell
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