Volume
5, Issue 5, May 2006
Welcome to the May issue.
May is Masturbation Month, and for those in the Toronto
area, check out the Masturbate-a-thon being
organized by Come
As You Are (all proceeds go to The
Center for Sex and Culture). Not in Toronto? Google
"Masturbation Month" to find events in your
area. Also of note: May 17th is the National (U.S.)
Day Against Homophobia. Learn more at their unfortunately-named
URL: http://www.homophobiaday.org/
May is a great month
for Smart Sex Talk subscribers too - until the end
of May our readers can get $1.00 off on the purchase
of the Keep Marriage
Equal Postage Pal!
For more information, check out the Product of the
Month below.
Clearly May is a great
month for sex, so make sure you celebrate it!
~ Editor
 |
 |
Hot Topic: Labioplasty.
But Why?
|
It seems recently that
every radio talk show host calling has
the same question. Ditto
each magazine reporter. Everyone
wants to talk about labioplasty: surgically
trimming the labia to look like a porn
star’s.
I’ve been around long enough to
remember attending women’s health
conferences in the early 70s where we considered
ourselves brave and liberated for looking
at our own cervixes with mirrors and flashlights. I
once lay head to head with another woman
as a parade of onlookers circled us, each
bending to peer into our specula-stretched
vaginas. One matron straightened,
alarmed, and alerted me, “My dear,
you have blood up there!” I
responded that I had my period. Her
face worked for a moment as she processed
this information. Then she smiled. “Oh,
yes,” she nodded, “of course
that’s where it comes from,” and
she moved down the line. We knew
so little of ourselves then that we prized
each new piece of knowledge and power.
Fast forward three
decades. Now
periods are optional and the thrill of
ownership of our genitals is eclipsed by
the anxiety of comparing them to the perfect
digitally retouched porno pussy. Sigh.
Labia are
like faces. All have the
same basic parts yet each is distinct. Labia
are filled with sensitive nerve endings
that deliver the most exquisite sensations
when swollen and treated nicely. Beneath
the skin of the labia lie the crura or
legs of the clitoris (the hard round button
tucked under the clitoral hood is but a
fraction of the organ). Since the labia
are rarely symmetrical, each responds a
bit differently to touch, providing more
and varied sensations as we climb towards
orgasm. Many women use knowledge
of these anatomical differences during
masturbation. For instance, as we
get closer to orgasm, we may pull on that
slightly larger left labia to increase
traction on the clitoral hood. The
wise lover will pay attention to these
details and explore his/her lover’s
geography to learn the many available exciting
pleasure paths.
Labioplasty has nothing
to do with pleasure. Zero,
zip, nada, zilch. Trimming your pussy
lips to be tiny, tight, and symmetrical
is entirely about meeting some theoretical
perception of what the ‘perfect’ woman’s
labia is ‘supposed’ to look
like. This month. Considering
we can’t see our own vulva without
a mirror and a flashlight, genital plastic
surgery certainly isn’t about our
own visual satisfaction. Is it solely in
response to what we believe are the wishes
of our male partners? But if you ask most
men to describe the ugliest pussy they
ever saw, they’ll quickly respond, “It
was beautiful!”
So why are women
submitting to this surgery? We’ve
already bought that our breasts are too
small, our bottoms not appropriately
peachy, our thighs too cottage cheesy,
and our stomachs too slack. Our
icon fashion models are cadaverous waifs
while our real life population gets fatter
and fatter. Perfection seems
ever more unattainable.
Each of us owns our
own body and has every right to do with
it whatever we want. No
question. It troubles me greatly,
though, that so much emphasis is placed
on appearance with barely a reference to
function or pleasure.
Before we
consider removing the tissues that cause
us to call out God’s name, let’s
think hard about what we are doing and
why. If you feel that your relationship
would be improved by having slimmer labia,
examine your relationship!
|
Articles
of the Month
This
article reinforces Tennov's limerence
theory--love at first sight is not
love at all, though it is delicious.
Thoughtful
article giving each of us reason
to stay politically and socially
active.
A
companion article to this month's
column on labioplasty.
As
we argue binary definitions of gender,
we must be aware of the physical
effects of hormonal manipulation. This
article offers some cautions.
With
online
dating, as with any other
kind, common sense is key.
Yet
another
perspective on marriage. Hmmm...are
gays and lesbians of colour interested
in tying the knot?
File this under
'It's About Time'...FDA finally reviewing
ban on gay blood donation.
As
the bumper sticker says, Hatred is
not a Family Value, but is it a legal
right? Christian
Americans challenge the courts.
But
at
least one court disagrees... |
Research
of the Month
Look
out, men. This research suggests
a changing trend in attractiveness:
Now you'll have to worry about your
wobbles as well as your wallet.
New
research helps explain women's longevity
and varied health risks.
Scientists
have been warning us for years about
the effects of pollution on our environment
and ourselves. This new research suggests a link between environmental
decay and low birthrates for boys.
Note
in this research on the link between
cancer and breast asymmetry, the
researchers point to environmental
factors. Scary,
eh?
Good
news for men in their fifties: the
best sex of your life! |
|
|
Invest
in a copy of Joani Blank’s book, Femalia, and
celebrate the beauty and diversity of the women’s
vulvas photographed in those pages. If
you want to change the appearance of your netherlips,
get a piercing or shave your pubic hair, but
please, think twice before surgically altering
your tender bits. Remember: fashion changes,
but pleasure is forever.
© Pega Ren. 2006.
All Rights Reserved. |
Site
of the Month: Epica Awards
The
Epica Awards are " Europe's premier creative
awards". We tip our hat to them for
celebrating envelope-pushing pieces like this
Campari ad.
|
Videos
of the Month: Anal Massage for Relaxation and
Pleasure,
Volumes 1 and 2
Volume 1
If you’ve been curious but squeamish about
anal play, this is the DVD for you. In
six separate segments, expert practitioners demonstrate
and explain techniques for effective anal massage. I
was impressed by the relaxed pace of the massages. It
was clear that nobody was going to be uncomfortable. The
camera shots were remarkable, enabling the viewer
actually to see what was going on down
there.
Techniques demonstrated included glides, spider
fingers, paddle thumbs, and doorbell. The
models obviously enjoyed themselves and gave
feedback about what worked and what didn’t. Besides
all the beautiful settings and people, this DVD
was packed with solid, understandable information. If
thinking about somebody slipping a finger up
your bum has made you squeeze your cheeks together
in the past, watching Anal Massage will
make you a convert. It is gentle, sweet
and honest. I liked it a lot. In
fact, as soon as I was done with this one, I
got it’s companion DVD, reviewed below:
Volume 2
This is another superb DVD offered by the same
folks who brought us Anal Massage for Relaxation
and Pleasure, and it delivers the same quality
production values and gentle message. Drs.
Carol Queen and Robert Lawrence introduce four
couples and the techniques they use throughout
the two hour DVD, setting up each scene so the
viewers understand what they are about to learn. I
appreciated the diversity of the couples—they
are mixed races, genders, and ages. They
come in various body sizes and some even have
zits on their asses like real life people. Some
of the anal massage incorporated lovemaking that
was hot and clearly unscripted. This is
a user-friendly DVD; even those shy about porn
can identify with the couples here. Highly
recommended.
|
Product
of the Month: Keep
Marriage Equal Postage Pal
 An
inexpensive and fun way to support equal right,
and exclusive for smartsextalk subscribers,
the package has been marked down for the month
of May!
|
Book
of the Month: Love
and Limerence
by Dorothy Tennov
Dorothy Tennov has republished her 1979 work
on limerence and I've chosen it for Smart
Sex Talk's book of the month. Limerence
is such an important concept to understand
in the early stages of dating that this book
deserves note.
If
you prefer your reading material in ebook form,
Dr Tennov's work is also available by visiting
this site: http://www.gramps.org/limerence/
|
Review:
Eve Ensler's The Good Body
I went last week to see Eve Ensler’s The
Good Body. I’d been eagerly awaiting
this performance, having seen The Vagina
Monologues several times and been moved
with each performance. This show was presented
in a grand setting, clad in marble and mirrors,
and hundreds of well-heeled women (and a few
men) streamed into the venue chatting and networking. The
houselights dimmed and there she was. The magic
began.
And magic it was. Though the
container, this opulent hall, seemed too large
for the intimate nature of the subject matter,
the simple set and Eve’s polished presentation,
brought the audience in. We listened rapt as
she told story after story about our bodies and
how we have become estranged from them. She reminded
us about pleasure. There were lessons to
be learned, most from poor, simple women, though
even here Hollywood’s darling, labioplasty,
was on the docket. We laughed and applauded appropriately.
We truly appreciated Eve and her message.
Afterwards, though, I felt mildly
troubled, not uplifted as I had following The
Vagina Monologues. In speaking with others
in the coming days, they experienced the same
sort of distress. As we distilled it, Eve’s
first work resulted in our feeling solidarity
with our sisters while The Good Body had
underscored our isolation and ennui. Still, there
we were, days later, talking together about this
play, these women, ourselves. That in itself
says something positive, doesn’t it?
|
Toy
of the Month: Elite
7 Couples Vibrator
 Here's a little
goodie designed especially for couples. The
soft and pliable cock ring fits around his
penis and the knobby protrusion tickles her
clit with a symphony of different vibrations.
A long cord keeps the controller at hand. This
is one of Libida's top sellers.
|
Humour
Indirect
action, direct results. Very
funny.
~
The gay cowboy craze shows no signs
of fading. For those of you who haven't yet seen
it, check out this video for "Cowboys
Are Frequently, Secretly (Fond of Each Other)" by
Willie Nelson. Google the song to find out more about
the surprising history of the song (it was written
over two decades ago). Wikipedia,
as always, has interesting information on the many
recordings of the ditty.
~
Joe went to the doctor complaining of
blinding headaches. After a few tests, the doctor
said, "Joe,
the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad
news is that it will require castration. You have a
very rare condition, which causes your testicles to
press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell
of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure
is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed but he
had no choice but to go under the knife.
After the operation, Joe left
the hospital and was pleased to note that he was without
a headache for the first time in 20 years. Despite
the feeling that
he was missing an important part of himself, he realized
that he could make
a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men's clothing store and
thought, "That's
what I need... a new suit." When he entered the
shop the elderly tailor eyed him briefly
and said, "Let's
see... size 44 long."
Joe laughed, "That's right,
how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years!",
the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit, it fit perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror,
the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt? Let's
see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck."
"That's right," Joe
exclaimed, "how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years." Sure
enough, when Joe
tried on the shirt, it fit perfectly.
As Joe walked comfortably around the
shop, the salesman asked, "How about some
new underwear? Let's
see... size 36."
Joe laughed, "Aha! I got you,
I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."
The salesman shook his head, "You
can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your
testicles up against the base of your spine and give
you one hell of a headache."
New suit - $400
New shirt - $36
New underwear - $6
Second Opinion - Priceless.
Quotes
"Conservatives say teaching sex education
in the public schools will promote promiscuity. With
our education system? If we promote promiscuity the
same way we promote math or science, they've got nothing
to worry about."
~ Beverly Mickins
"The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that
there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm."
~ Author
Unknown
"Being with a woman all night never hurt
no professional baseball player. It's staying up all
night looking for a woman that does him in."
~ Casey
Stengel
"I'd like to meet the man who invented
sex and see what he's working on now."
~ Author Unknown |
